Court Update (Again)

Ok, where to begin….

First, thing I heard today (Monday, June 24^th) was that there would be no update for us.  As of 11:00am our time (7:00pm in Ethiopia), the staff in St. Louis hadn’t received any emails from Ethiopia today at all and had even tried calling and couldn’t get through by phone, so they assumed the CHI staff in Ethiopia was having issues with their electricity, as happens sometimes. 

Then, suddenly a couple hours later (somebody in Ethiopia was working late!!!), we did get an update, via St. Louis, on the court hearing that took place on Friday:  The orphanage director appeared in court with the police document noting that the birth mother cannot be located.  The court ordered that a notice be posted in the newspaper to search for her.  So, the notice will be posted and another court date was issued for July 2^nd, at which time the orphanage director will appear and provide the documentation showing the ad ran in the newspaper.  (Still don’t know anything about that other letter from the Ministry of Women’s Affairs…I sent back a question about the status of that). 

And in a separate little paragraph after the court update, our adoption consultant relayed the following to us:

“Our staff also said that they don’t think the courts are going to close on July 6^th.  It looks like they are going to stay open longer.  They haven’t received an official closing date from the courts yet, but it looks like they are going to be open longer.” 

What excellent news!!  This, very frankly, was not on our radar screen as a possible solution to our situation.  But, isn’t it just like God to answer in a way that is beyond what we expect or ask.  I don’t really know what this means for us, other than we’re going to wait again to hear what happens in court on July 2^nd and keep praying like crazy that we’ll have the opportunity to hightail it over there before courts close for the summer, whenever that occurs.  Wheww!!  What a marathon.

Court Update

Just a quick adoption update.  There is another hearing this Friday (June 21st) in Ethiopia regarding our girl. 

The birthmother cannot be located and has effectively disappeared.  Apparently the protocol in this situation is that the orphanage director takes a letter to the court from the police stating that they cannot locate the woman.  The judge may be satisfied by this letter or she may ask for further information, documentation, etc.  Please pray for the former.

In addition, there is one other important approval letter that needs to be presented to the judge from the Ministry of Women’s and Children’s Affairs.  This letter was not completed and ready at the first birth parent hearing on June 10^th.  And, we’ve since heard that this agency has been “in meetings” and is behind on the completion of these letters.  Please pray that ours is complete and that it is presented to the judge this Friday.    

If these two items are in place on Friday, perhaps there is a chance that the judge would see fit to push this adoption through by granting us a hearing in Ethiopia prior to the July 6^th court closure.  We would like nothing more.  Please pray that the judge might be sympathetic to the situation and inherently aware of what it would mean for our baby to be united with her family as soon as possible.  Please pray that she might be compelled to schedule an adoptive family hearing now before courts close. 

Father, if it is Possible…

The good news- We were delighted to receive word yesterday, that our birth family has a court date this coming Monday (June 10^th) in Ethiopia, to finalize their part of this adoption.  That’s the last step before we travel for court.  Traditionally, the adoptive family (that’s us) has been given a court date about 4 weeks after the birth family appears in court.

 The bad news- Our anticipation and excitement was short-lived.  Today, we received word that the Ethiopian courts will close on July 6^th for the rainy season.  This is an annual closure, though our adoption agency noted that the closure is unusually early this year.  Apparently roads wash out and there’s flooding that makes it impossible for people from outlying regions to get in to the capital city for court business, so the courts just close.  We knew the courts would close this summer for a couple months.  However, it traditionally happens in late July or at the beginning of August.  When we got the notice about our birth family court date, we thought surely we’d get our court trip in before things shut down for the rains. 

 The synopsis-

• Birth family court date scheduled in Ethiopia-06/10/13
• Approximate date we would have court scheduled in Ethiopia-07/08/13
• Confirmed Ethiopian court closure-07/06/13

 Problematic discrepancy-2 Days

 Are you kidding me??!!  Two Days!  You’re telling me that a couple days may cost us months with our daughter?  Without going all clinical and psychological here, they are some precious, critical months.  I want those months.  A couple months more of attachment.  A couple months more of healthcare, of enough formula, of met needs.  A couple months less of developmental delays to be addressed.  A couple months less of being an orphan.  I don’t want to be ugly.  I’m trying to be patient.  I am certainly a more patient person now than when we began this adoption journey.  But, here’s how I do NOT want to spend my summer…waiting out rain and knowing that our girl is spending another day without a mommy and daddy!  No more backgrounds to be checked, no more forms to complete, just rain.  As my friend Chris Carter on ESPN would say, “C’mon man!”

 The request- Would you please join us in showering the throne of heaven with persistent supplication to this end?  Please, God, that the birth family would make it to court on Monday and that all would go smoothly.  Please, God, that there’d be no hiccups or hang ups or missing paperwork.  Please, God, that we might be granted a court date prior to the court closure on July 6^th.  We know it is possible.  We know He’s big enough for this.   

 

 

Burden

Up to this point in the adoption process, I’ve told people that I’m so thankful that we’ve gone through this process already bearing the title of parents.  It’s been “easier.”  We know parenthood.  We’re not walking into this thing blindly.  And except for the times when we’ve had about six too many hands helping us “organize” our mountains of paperwork, or a chorus of ‘Father Abraham Had Many Sons’ echoing in the background during a phone call with our adoption coordinator, our kids have provided us motivation to work for an additional sweet blessing and pleasant distraction from the tedious wait. 

However, I believe this final leg of the process will actually be more difficult for us because we are already parents.  The mommy and daddy chambers of our hearts have already been flung wide open, and it nearly kills us to know that we have a little one on the other side of the world.  We have no naivety about what we’re missing as our baby progresses through the early months of life.  We know full well.  We don’t have a chance to cheer when she rolls over for the first time; we won’t know when she is able to sit up all by herself.  We’re powerless to help her if she needs help.  We wonder if she’s cold while she’s sleeping.  If her gums hurt because she’s teething.  If she has enough to eat.  We look at the clock and think about what she might be doing right now (the Eastern African Time Zone is 8 hours ahead of CDT).      

Mainly, we just want to have her here with us.  We’re hopeful and optimistic that she’ll get adequate care in the transitional orphanage that is operated by our adoption agency (where she’ll be staying for the last few months before she joins us at home).  We are trusting God to fill in the gaps (the same as we should do with the three kids who are already living in this house…because let me assure you, our care can be a little “gappy” at times).  And we find comfort in reminding ourselves that after all, she belongs to Him before she belongs to us.

Mother's Day

This Mother’s Day, my thoughts are prayers are consumed by a young woman on the other side of the globe.

 A young woman who isn’t holding her little one in her arms this Mother’s Day (in all honesty, they’re not even celebrating Mother’s Day right now in Ethiopia, though they apparently do celebrate something similar, called Antrosht, later in the fall, and she won’t be holding her little one in her arms then either).  For this woman, my heart breaks.

 A young woman who found herself in a situation for which no one would hope or wish, but who nevertheless decided to carry and deliver a baby; and in so doing she allowed me to be a mom.  Again.  To a precious girl who’s been in my heart for so long.  For this woman, I am grateful.    

 I don’t know a lot about this young woman or her story (though we hope to have an opportunity to meet her during our second trip to Ethiopia this summer).  My heart simultaneously grieves and rejoices for her.  And if motherhood is about love, and selflessness, and caring for your child in the best way you know how…well then she’s one of the very best moms I know. 

Theme Song

Wanted to share a song that’s been played frequently in our house over the past months.  It’s kind the theme song for our adoption journey.

Celebration

The day we got matched with our baby, we decided to celebrate by having dinner at a local Ethiopian restaurant.  It was the second time Ryan and I had been there, and the first time for our kids.

The food is served family-style, on a huge platter.  There is no silverware.  You eat with your hands (which I thought might be a draw for the kids).  The food is served with this flat, spongy bread called injera.  The idea is that you tear off a piece of injera and use it to kind of scoop/grab a bite of your food.  All the items on the menu have Ethiopian names with short descriptions in English.  We’ve always gotten the sampler platter, which has small portions of about eight vegetarian dishes, and three meat dishes (one beef, one chicken, one lamb). 

My experience is that Ethiopian food is SPICY.  Maybe there’s something mild, but I haven’t found it yet.  Even the stuff they describe as mild on the menu is hotter than I prefer, so I was not optimistic about how the kids would fare.  Suffice it to say, there is no “Kids Menu” at this place.

We ordered our sampler platter and enjoyed the African décor and music while we waited.  It’s really a quaint, ethnic little place.  And the staff is very friendly.  We told them what we were celebrating and they were very gracious.

When the food arrived, the waitress toured us around the platter telling us which entrée was which.  Each of us was armed with plenty of injera, and we embarked.  It was just as spicy as I remembered, and I was busily trying each item in an effort to guide the kids toward the less-likely-to-make-your-eyes-water dishes.

After two bites (both of which caused her eyes to close and an involuntary head quiver), our 2 year-old looked dismayed and inquired, “Why is this food so yucky?”

A few minutes later, following a bite of the chicken dish (which really did have some kick), the following exchange ensued with our 7 year-old:

7 year-old: “You know that smell after we launch a model rocket?”

Dad: “Yeah, it’s the smell of the sulfur from the engines.  Why?  Is that how this food smells to you?”
7 year-old: “No, but it kind of tastes like that.”    

 Thankfully, the kids were not obnoxious or rude, but they clearly did not enjoy the experience.  Though not real lovers of Ethiopian food, Ryan and I soldiered on and finished the majority of the platter (I think the waitress had to refill my glass of water 4 or 5 times during the course of the meal).  And, the kids filled up on injera (followed by bowls of cereal once we got home).